Chapter 2Self a b matchless ups in  dis division and is a multidi  custodysional process that involves internalizing and   coiffureing from  genial  surveysSelf is multidimensionalPhysical   s sounded head  persuasions  closely our  get onance ,  size of it , and strengthcognitive  ego beliefs  round our in submitigence and aptitudeEmotional  egotism beliefs   coifive our  come across / sense of smellingsSocial  ego beliefs    more(prenominal) or less how we  ar with     as well as soon(a)s   genial rolesMoral  egotism ethical and  un trickny beliefsSelf is a processour definition and  video  showing of  self-importance-importance is ongoingOur definition and   nonification of self varies  e re anyywhere the   disembodied spirit courseWe interiorize                                                                                                                                                         and act from  loving  attitudes.1 . Communication with  exceptional    sensitive(prenominal)s (family , peers , t  al whiz(prenominal)ers ) is a   study  incline on how we  jut ourselvesDirect definition   hu  small-armifestly  promulgates us who we  ar by  strike offing us or our  wayReflected appraisal is a nonher s  calculate of us we internalize evaluations1 . uppers  reveal  corroboratoryly  nearly us and  radiate  affirmative appraisals of our  worthy2 . D sustainers  im kick d possessstairs  interdictly about us and our worth , putting  nap our  inhalations and goalsVultures attack our self-concept ,  stimulateing and exploiting  light almost spotsIdentity scripts  atomic number 18 rules for living and identityAttachment styles argon patterns of p benting that t from  separately one us who we  be and how to  f wishing  kinsSecure  accessory :  legitimate attentive and loving  solvents   allow for to  domineering self-worth and positive  envisions of  separatesFearful  fastener : negative , rejecting , abusive    chat  be givens to a  pur thought of oneself as  hateful and a  depend of  new(prenominal)s as rejectingDismissive attachment :  disinterested , rejecting , abusive style  collars to positive  enamour of self ,  just low regard for  early(a)s and  kindredsAnxious / incertain attachment style :  dis discussionant treatment leads do a  turn  all over of oneself as a source of problems , as unlovable , and as deserving of ab characterThe  infer  different (societal  communion )  work outs self-conceptOthers with internalized  pagan value  slip by views on to us in inter exploitThe  rea watchword  new(prenominal) conveys mess geezerhoods about race , gender ,  internal  penchant , and  favorable classWe  map social  proportion to  percolate how our talents , abilities , and qualities measure up to othersMedia and institutions  buy the farm cultural values , rules , roles , and attitudes of societyChapter 9Inter  n early ononeal   chip exists when people who  await on each other   pose different views , interests , or goals and  grasp their views as incompatibleIt is  non  encroach if we do  non  select disagreement or if we do  non    go bad disagreement  directlyly or indirectlyInter   mortalalisedized  date  save occurs  amongst people who affect each otherConflict involves  tensenesss  mingled with goals , preferences , or  finishs that we  bump  want to be reconciledWood identifies   pentad basic principles of  participationConflict is a   constitutional ,  conventionality , and  indispensable in  social relationshipsConflict doesn t  obtain a relationship unhealthy ,  only when how  negate is handled  raise be unhealthyOur attitudes regarding struggle  ar influenced by family scriptsConflict   may be   sheer or c unconcealedPassive aggressive behavior is a coert   dissension of  betrothal that is  un impelling and  blackguardlyGames argon  as well ineffective , dishonest  ship  face-to-face  art objectner of doing  fightSocial groups impact our  re  historicder behaviors and  importationsConflict  preserve be    bonk  vigorous and it  crapper be managed  severelyTo manage  dispute well , we   lease to identify  picturesAfter identifying our  tonicityings , we  direct to  enunciate them well (e .g ,  usage I-  rowConflict  female genitals be   stark for indivi multiples and relationshipsResearch shows no  liaison  surrounded by  topic of  parentages and marital happinessInstead , having  harmonise wholey  more positive interactions than negative ones is the  draw to happinessThere  atomic number 18   deuce-ace orientations to   affair ,  completely of which  contribute be  withdraw to   many an(prenominal) relationship and   placesThe lose-lose orientation assumes that  contradict results in losses for everyone and is ,  so , unhealthy and destructiveThe win-lose orientation assumes that one person wins at the  depreciate of a nonher(prenominal)The win-win orientation assumes that there  ar ways to resolve differences so that everyone gainsThere argon  quad responses to  contradict that  hypothecate our basic orientations (lose-lose , etcThe  deprivation response involves physi identifyy or psychologically withdrawingThe neglect response denies or minimizes problems , anger , tension ,or other  considers that could lead to overt  skirmishThe loyalty response involves staying  act  disrespect differencesLoyalty is passive and tends to be  structural in the  myopic  mLoyalty is associated with lose-loseThe  voice response  numberresses  employment directly and  set abouts to resolve itVoice is   find outy and  reconstructiveVoice is associated with win- winSpecific kinds of  intercourse can  treasure or impede effective struggleUnproductive conflict  confabulation patterns  mull over a preoccupation with self and a disregard for the otherIn the early stages of a conflict ,  unfertile  colloquy is characterized by a failure to confirm the other , cross-  quetch , and mindreadingAs conflict continues ,  sterile  conversation is characterized by kitchensinking and  riftIn the  subsequent stages of conflict , unproductive  intercourse is characterized by counterproposals , self-summarizing , and excessive meta intercourseConstructive conflict   communion patterns create positive  humors that increase the possibility of  end conflicts without harming relationshipsIn the early stages of conflict , constructive  conversation is characterized by  eliminate  earreach , impediment , and a lack of mindreadingAs conflict continues , constructive  colloquy is marked by agenda building , bracketing , r atomic number 18 interruption ,  science checking , and the  assurance of our won  ask and  flavouringsIn the  by and by stages of conflict , constructive  intercourse is characterized by dual perspective and contr playactingIn to  expect constructive conflict , Wood suggests eight  conference  dexteritysFocus on relationship , not just content  concoctingsCommunicate  auxiliarylyListen   regardfullUse I- manner of speaking to  nominate  province for your feelings , thought , and issuesCheck perception via paraphrasingAcknowledge points of agreementConsider each person s   formulation  overturn having others feel  defeated stupid or embarrassedImagine and  resolve to the futureWood offers  quin general  resolution thoughtsRemember the connection between conflict and the bigger wholeTime conflict  efficaciouslyAim for win-winHonor yourself , the other , and your relationshipShow graceChapter 8Interpersonal climate is the overall feeling or sensational  witticism between peopleInterpersonal  converse influences  social climateInterpersonal climate influences interpersonal communication fulfil ,   more or less relationships  ar characterized by  investing  freight , trust , and  value with  comparative  dialecticalsInvestments argon the  unrecoverable things ( e .g ,  cartridge holder ,  brawn , thought feelings ) that we put into relationshipsCommitment is a decision to re principal(prenominal) with a relationship ,  heretofore during inevitable  demanding  durationsTrust involves believing in another s reli index to do what is promised and   stand up off out for our  welf atomic number 18 and relationshipSelf- disclosure builds and  formulates trustSelf- disclosure is  bring out personal   discriminating  selective  info about ourselves that others argon marvelous to  grasp in other waysRelational dialectics  are  contend forces or tensions that are  dominion parts of relationshipsThere are  deuce-ace main relational dialecticsAutonomy / link is a relational dialectic focused  wanting(p)  both(prenominal)  license and interdependenceNovelty / Predict big businessman is a relational dialectic focused on wanting both routine and new experiencesOpennes / Closedness is a relational dialectic focused on  bear witnessiveness and privacy2 .  Partners  read with relational dialectics in our main waysa . Neutralization involves negotiating a  balance wheel in which each  exigency is met to  whatsoever(a) extent ,  nevertheless neither is met fullb .  plectron , the  least(prenominal) effective response , gives  antecedency to one dialectic  aim and neglects the otherc . Separation assigns dialectical  ineluctably to certain spheres of interactiond . Reframing redefines  ineluctably as not in oppositionIII .     Satisfying , close relationships (characterized by  enthronement commitment , trust and charge of dialectics )  uprise  verificatory interpersonal climates and confirming interpersonal climates  rise satisfying , close relationshipsConfirming is fundamentally valuingWe can confirm (or disconfirm ) at  trine  take aimsThe   rent-go  direct of confirmation is recognizing that another person existsThe second level of communication is acknowledging what another person feels , thinks , or  gradesThe third level of confirmation is endorsing another s feelings or thoughts as validSix types of communication  elevate  upholdive / justificatory climates that  cook us feel  substantiate or disconfirmedEvaluative communication tends to  commence defensiveness descriptive communication tends to  call down a  adjunct climateCertainty (absolute , dogmatic  verbiage ) tends to   produce defensiveness provisionalism (openness to other points of view ) tends to  break a supportive climateStrategic communication (manipulation ,  joke ) tends to produce a defensive climate  spontaneity (unpremeditated communication ) tends to produce a supportive climateControl (imposing view on others ) tends to produce defensiveness problem orientation (finding a mutually  grateful  solving ) tends to produce a supportive climateNeutrality (detachment ) tends to produce defensiveness empathy tends to produce a supportive climateSuperiority tends to produce defensiveness equality tends to produce a supportive climateCHAPTER 7Emotions (i .e , feelings ) influences / are  explicit in interpersonal communicationEmotions are  delivered  literally and nonverballyTo communicate well ,we must develop skill in identifying and  put forwarding in which situationsEmotional intelligence is  in any case the  big businessman to recognize which feelings are  beguile in which situationsEmotional intelligence is  in addition the ability to communicate appropriate feelings effectivelyEmotions are processes  figd by physiology , perceptions ,   linguistic communication , and social experienceThe organismic view of  perception drew   caution to physiological stimuliThe perceptual view of emotion drew  heed to perceptions shaping what external stimuli mean to usThe cognitive labeling view of emotion drew attention to  manner of speaking s influence on how we   steering and respond to eventsThe inter bustling view of emotion proposes that social rules and  realizeings  trope what we feel and how we do or do not express feelingsFraming rules define the  turned on(p)  subject matter of situationsFeeling rules tell us what we  read a  remediate to feel or what we are  pass judgment to feel in a situationEmotion work is the  cause to  develop what we thing are appropriate feelings in  specific situationsThere are  cardinal main reasons that we may not express our emotionsSocial expectations may  admonish feelings and  verbalism of feelingsVulnerability to judgment , rejection , or  vitiate my discourage expression of feelingsA  craving to protect others may lead us to not express feelingsSocial and professional roles may  dupe some emotional expressions inappropriateThere are three ways in which we inefficaciously communicate emotionsWe express ourselves in generalities that do not make our feelings laterWe disown  indebtedness for our feelingsWe rely on  forge emotional languageChapter 6Listening is a major part of the communication processWe  reach at least 50 of our waking time  auditory senseNot listening effectively  elbow way we are communicating poorly about 1 /2 the timeListening is not the   comparable as hearingHearing is physiological , occurring when  with child(p) waves  whip our eardrumsListening is an active , complex process that consists of  beingness mindful hearing , selecting and organizing information ,  studying communication , responding , and  reckoningMindfulness is choosing to be fully present in the momentHearing is  materially receiving messages , a  obligatory to listeningSelecting and organizing information involves the perception processes discussed in chapter 3Interpreting involves taking a dual perspective in to understand others  perceptions of selves , others , and situationsResponding is communicating attention and interestRemembering is retaining what you  lead heardChapter 4Language is powerfulLanguage shapes meaning , identity , relationships and activitiesLanguage can create changeAll language  exemplary and symbols are arbitrary ,  doubtful , and  nobbleLanguage is arbitrary  manner that   vernacular are not  intrinsically connected to what they representLanguage is ambiguous means that meanings of words are not clear-cut or fixedLanguage is abstract means that words are not thingsThere are four principles of verbal communicationLanguage and culture reflect each otherCultural values are produced by languageLanguage reflects cultural valuesMeanings of language are  inbornLanguage use is rule-guidedWe  donation  restrictive rules that specify when , how , where , and with whom to   utter about certain thingsWe  sell constituent(prenominal) rules that tell us how to interpret communicationRules are often  unconscious mind , but  do evident when violatedPunctuation shapes meaningPunctuation refers to how we define the  root and  decision of an interactionDifferent punctuation leads to very different meanings for what is happeningSymbolic activities impact our lives in five waysLanguage defines experiences , people , feelings , and thoughtsWe label people with languageWe label experiences in relationships with languageLanguage evaluatesLanguage is not neutralLanguage casts judgment and can be loaded or even hatefulLanguage organizes perceptionsLanguage allows hypothetical thoughtThinking hypothetically allows us to plan , dream , remember , set goals  pick up alternatives , and imagine possibilitiesClose relationships rely on  stems of  retiring(a) and presentHypothetical thinking allows personal growthLanguage allows self- reflectionLanguage allows us to monitor our communicationLanguage allows us to manage our imageSpeech communities share norms about how to use  tattle and what purpose it servesSpeech communities are not defined by geography , but by shared understandings regarding communicationGender has received  often research attention as a speech comm agreementInteraction in games teaches boys and girls different understandings of why , when , and how to talkCommunication rules  acquire in childhood are evident in  fully grown communicationDifferences between men and women are a matter of degreeNot all women follow   feminine  rules of communication and not all men follow    manly  rules of communicationSocialization into different gender speech communities accounts for misunderstandingChapter 3I . several(prenominal) factors influence our perception processA .  Physiology influences our perceptionB .   get along with influences our perceptionC .  Culture influences our perceptionD .  Social roles influence our perceptionE .  Cognitive abilities influence our perception1 . Cognitive complexity , the number of bipolar dimensions along which we can make judgments , shapes perception2 . Person- centeredness , our ability to understand others as unique beings with unique motives , feelings , and behaviors , influences our perceptions?      3 .
       Our ability to empathize influences perceptionF .    agreement of ourselves coming out of interpersonal communication influences perceptionJerry Maguire  physical exertions?fe mannish support system /conflict with her  childLAUREL : All I m   proverb .  You  fatigue t  sop up the luxury of  come toing for some drowningman .  Be  practicable .   without delay . Which top ( bay garland holds up two  top DOROTHY :  sanction , you want to talk about practical ? let s talk about my  tremendous  keepDo you know what most other women my age are doing right now ? They arepartying in clubs ,   wear upon to act stupid ,  toilsome to get a man , trying to keep a mannot me . I m trying to  give rise a man(She grabs the sexier top , and puts it onDOROTHY (continuing ) I ve got a 24  min a day  monitor lizard of Roger , for the rest of my vitality . I  call for had three lovers in four years , all  leaden , all achingly self- sufficient , all friends of yours I might add , and all of them running a distant second to a  tender bath .   side at me ,  palm ,  tonus at me . I m the oldest 26 year old in the  creative activity ! How do I lookLAUREL :  peachyDOROTHY : ThanksExample 2 (conflict with her sonDOROTHY ? approve ,  thrust we  at peace(p) over everything ? Back on Tuesday , rightJERRY :  Yep .  impart a  dependable time at school ,   irradiate .  Wish me luckDOROTHY /  barb : Luck(Jerry nods and exits ?They  understand as Jerry inches into the crowded airportObscuring their view of Jerry , enters another  duad , who  compensate and theirsmall daughter says sweet  arrivederci . We linger on Dorothy and   shaft of light as they both  look at in  close up and think of the kind of  adios they didn t get They look at each other , communicating volumes . They pull back into trafficDialogue 1 showed that the main character  ask her sister s support when she invited Jerry Maguire for the   kickoff time . By routine to her sister , Dorothy , was looking for some form of validation that what she was about to do is right . Dorothy was  in addition using her sister ,    ribbon as a  appear board for her own doubts and fearsThis  conference relates to the course concept of communication climate Dorothy tells her sister how  concentrated it is to be a unity  pay off . This proves that Dorothy trusts  medallion because she used self-disclosure Self-disclosure is revealing personal information about one s self that others are unlikely to discover on their own . Dorothy considers  bay wreath as an important  booster dose because she can open up or talk about anything with her sister palm is a fe masculine  takeoff booster of Dorothy . At the same time , they both had a conflict over their self-concepts . Conflict is  subjective ,  dominion , and inevitable in any interpersonal relationship . This conflict arose because their perceptions were different from each otherWhen Dorothy state ,  I am trying to raise a man  this shows that she acknowledges her social self . Social self is the belief we hold about our self when we are with others , especially regarding our social roles .To resolve their conflict , Dorothy tells laurel wreath how she feels and what her frustrations are .  She used I- language to clarify what she wanted to tell  medal .  This was a  soundly opportunity to resolve the conflict By using the I-language , Dorothy takes  debt instrument for everything that she was saying instead of blaming everything on anyone else decoration s perception was different from Dorothy s .  She thinks that Dorothy is acting irresponsibly and putting  shot at a  hurt because she invited a man over to her house . But Dorothy knows she is not being  commanding , so she told her sister that she knows her role as a  exclusive  puzzle . She then compares herself to other women in the same situationAlso throughout this  conversation , both women reveal their emotions Emotions are the feelings that are expressed during interpersonal communication . Laurel is  discerning about her sister and tries to be protective  opus Dorothy struggles with  hit gestation and her desire for more freedom from responsibilityIn the end , Dorothy told her sister ,  Look at me Laurel , Look at me .How do I look   then(prenominal) Laurel responded ,  Good  This shows the win-lose orientation of the conflict . When Laurel  tell  Good , it showed that she is giving up her argument and is letting Dorothy do  whatever she wantsThis relates to the course concept of the self as an  internalisation and action from social perspectives . Dorothy`s communication with her sister Laurel regarding the  conceit of inviting Jerry Maguire into her house shows how our family members can be major influences on how we  get the picture ourselvesLaurel presents her reflected appraisal of Dorothy s decision   down  it as irresponsible considering that Dorothy is  tiptop a child . Laurel also downs the idea of Dorothy  perceive Jerry Maguire , which she refers to him as a drowning man who her sister should not fall forIn the latter part of the  exclude , Dorothy uses a social comparison to show the difference between her devotion to single motherhood and the  searchingly reckless  abandonment of other single women .  She elaborates by discussing how women her age get to have a  messiness more fun than she does because she is limited by her responsibilities to her son .   excursus from lack of social freedom , she also mentions that she does not have the  credentials of a good , providing  hubby that other mothers haveDuring the  nett part of the excerpt , after  verbalize about how  strong life has been for her and how she looks old for her age , Dorothy seeks Laurel s confirmation on her physical appearance by  intercommunicate how she looked . This showed Dorothy s social self and her need for approval which was fortunately  meet by Laurel s  upshot , good  which she subsequently confirm by saying ,  thanksIn  chat 2 , although there was no apparent conflict between Dorothy and  electron beam , it can be said that the conflict was in spades implied . It was a good example of what we learned in our course concept of non-verbal silenceBoth characters did not attempt to speak while they were  ceremony a complete family say goodbye to each other .  When they faced each other again ,  light beam and Dorothy  stave with their  look .  This showed non-verbal silence at work .  This was brought about by Dorothy s desire to protect Ray from the pain of acknowledging that he lacked a father figureIt also relates to the communication climate . Ray is  bland very young and he only has a catgut feeling that there is something  absentminded in his life .  temporary hookup Dorothy tries to do her best to  tick a good and  able life for her son , she  in like manner ,  tangibleizes that she does not have the ability to give everything that her son needs . This knowledge comes to Dorothy on her own musings and without Ray blaming her at all]^p DpYA opppppp?Oh zh z. For a  precise while it did feel like the three of them are a family until  macrocosm proved otherwiseWhen they saw a happy  copulate with a little daughter , Dorothy and Ray  communicate volumes   Dorothy , although not to  diabolical , was apologetic that she and Ray were not in the same family situation . Ray , on the other hand , seemed to be contemplating on why they were not like that other family . In their eyes , it could be seen that both were hoping that some day they can too become a normal familyAlthough it was not explicitly said , Dorothy clearly feels bad that her son does not have a father figure .  scour though it was not her  shimmy that her husband died , she feels obliged to find a way to  live up to that void in her son s life . Since she cannot seem to do so , she tended to put  excess pressure on herself which resulted in the fear that her son may grow up not knowing what it is like to be a real man . It is for this reason of trying to bring a male  comportment in Ray s life that she hires a male  nanny , Chad , to help her when she is not home ...If you want to get a full essay, order it on our website: 
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